PO TAY TOE
by gigiseesdenver
Summary: D/L future fic, 3 kids and the typical mother saying, "You're kids will be just as bad as you if not worse." just a quick oneshot. lights potatoes, ketchup, action! yea read it'll make more sense.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zippo...

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"…and then Tommy kicked the ball to me and I dribbled it and I kicked it and scored Mommy. I really scored a goal. Joey said I was hopeless, but I scored a goal I scored a GOAL!!!" a seven year old Allie Messer told her mother.

"Well Al, what does Joey know, he never even pplayed soccer." Lindsay laughed at her only daughter. The youngest of the three Messer children, and yes another surprise. What was it with her and Danny, for some reason each child had been a surprise. A Big surprise.

"He didn't? But he has a trophey!" Allie asked in her most curious way that made the lab family sure she would end up as an investigator.

"Nah, your Daddy had him playing baseball."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, okay, can I play baseball too?"

"Allie, sweetheart how many more things do you want to get involved with?"

"Lots, and lots and lots mommy. I don't do that much."

"No just soccer, ballet, cheerleading, and swimming." Lindsay laughed as she listed off all the activities her daughter found she wanted to participate in.

"But Mommyyyyyyy, Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee?"

"Al, when Joey or Charlie throws a ball at you what do you do?"

"I duck, it hurts when it hits me." Allie informed

"Well that's what baseball is, it's that little ball."

"Oh, maybe I don't want to play."

"That's what I thought." Lindsay smirked as she reached behind her from the drivers seat and patted her daughters leg.

"Can we make brownies when we get home Mommy?" Allie asked as she kicked her legs back and forth in the back seat.

"Maybe later sweetie, after I drop you off at home I have to take care of the Franklin's cats."

"I don't like them." Allie stated.

"Who don't you like Al? the Franklins or the cats?" Lindsay asked as she turned the SUV down the Staten Island street that the Messers had been living on for the last 8 years.

"Either Mommy, the cats scratch, and the franklin boys are really really mean, and no they don't have a crush on me. Daddy lies about that stuff, they are mean and ugly." Allie pouted.

"Okay Al." Lindsay laughed "if you say so." They pulled into the back driveway and hopped out of the car, Lindsay handed three light grocery bags containing cereal, tea, and other boxed goods to Allie, and took the larger bags in herself.

Entering the house was a nightmare. Who knew that 2 boys hitting puberty could be so loud, so hungry, so moody. "Charlie leave me the hell alone, I don't want to help you with your stupid homework, just get out of the kitchen and leave me alone." Joey, the oldest of the Messer children sceamed at his younger brother.

"You don't own the kitchen Joe, and your on a cell phone, you can go other places."

"Go away Charlie." Joey yelled throwing a shoe at his brother which Charlie barely ducked out of. Granted the shoe left a very noticable scuff mark on the wall.

"Joseph! What the hell!?" Lindsay shouted as she walked in the back door followed by Allie.

"What Ma, he wouldn't leave me alone!" Joey shouted back at his mother.

"Joe, hang up that phone right now, and go get the rest of the groceries from the car."

"But Ma, I'm on the phone with Kelli"

"I don't care if you are on the phone with the flipping queen, hang up and help."

"Fine." Joey mumbled as he apologized to his _girlfriend_. 14 was too young to have a girlfriend. Damn did the boy take after his father in that way.

"What's with all the yelling?" Danny asked as he made his way into the kitchen and sat down at the table and with his one good arm helped unpack the groceries. He had been in another scuffle with a suspect leaving him with a broken arm, and temporary leave.

"Your sons and their bickering." Lindsay sighed as she started putting the groceries away.

"My sons? What happened to your baby boys?" Danny laughed as he got up and hugged his wife of 15 years from behind as she put away some popcorn in a high cabinet.

"They grew up and became the curse your mother warned me about." Lindsay said relaxing into Dannys arms.

"Louie and I were worse." Danny whispered into Lindsay's ear.

"Not by much." She laughed as she turned in the embrace. "Hello." She smiled as she greeted the man who stole her heart close to 20 years ago in a tiger cage. She leaned up on her tip toes and placed a tender kiss to her husbands lips.

"Ewwwwwww." Allie groaned out as her parents kissed. Danny simply smiled into the kiss.

"Allie sweetheart, keep thinking that for another 40 years okay?" Danny asked scooping his daughter up with one arm.

"Okay Daddy. Guess what!? I scored a goal!"

"I know you told me yesterday." Danny laughed. The goal story was a week old by now, but by george it made that little girl happy as a clam.

Both boys clammered back into the house with bags in their hands and started putting away the number of groceries. When finally all that was left was a few things that needed to go into the basement for storage, Danny and Lindsay went next door to take care of the cats, somehow, all three of their children were allergic, yet neither of them were. _If they didn't look so much like me Linds I'd say they were Flack's_ Danny had joked when Allie was diagnosed with the allergy.

They had left specific directions for Joey to take the sack of potatoes and other goods downstairs to the basement, however as a 14 year old boy with really good looks, Joey could not be bothered, he had an almost girlfriend, and friends lots of friends to talk and hang out with. "Charlie, Allie take this crap downstairs." Joey told his siblings as he dialled Kelli back.

Allie who idolized her big brothers almost as much as she idolized her father imediately grabbed the bag of potatoes and started dragging them to the stairwell as Charlie grabbedd the tide and cases of soda.

"Joey, Mom told you to take this stuff downstairs." A 10 year old Charlie grumbled.

"Yea, well, I'm the oldest, and you have to listen to me."

"Joe, it's to heavy for her!" Charlie said as he watched Allie get caught up on the crease between the tile and carpet.

"So take it down for her Char. Your bigger." Joey shouted back at his borther. "Oh and don't forget the ketchup." He said as he chucked the bottle at his brothers head.

"Well you may be a pitcher, but your still a jerk." Charlie said as he picked up the ketchup that landed with a thump near his foot after bouncing off the wall.

"Charlieeeeeee, can you help me?" Allie asked in her sweet little voice that resembled her mothers way too much.

"How bout we help each other Al." Charlie proposed as he squatted down next to his little sister.

"Okay. How?"

"We get back at Joe." Charlie smirked his Messer grin that he had inherrited from his father. His deep brown eyes sparkiling. "You still remember how to cry like Aunt Jessica taught you?" he asked in a whisper.

"Uh huh." Allie nodded, "why?"

"We are going to scare Joey."

"Yea. He always scares me."

"Okay let me get this thing set up." Charlie winked. He propped up his video camera on the self in the basement at the right hight and angle, before opening up the new bottle of ketchup.

"What's that for Charlie?"

"We're gonna put it on you so it loooks like blood."

"Fun. I like blood."

"You're weird, but, that's mom and dad." Charlie shrugged. He poured the ketchup all over his sister then climbed to the top of the stairs with the potatoes. "Okay Al, when the potatoes hit the bottom of the stairs lay next to them, and start screaming bloody murder, like you just fell down the stairs."

"Okay." Allie squeeked out her excitement. Charlie counted to three then shoved the potatoes down the stairs with a thump thump rumble tumble clunk thunk thump thump.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Allie's peircing scream could be heard down the street. There was a loud thud of a chair being pushed back and of Joey tripping before racing to the basement door that lay open, Charlie Hiding behind it with another video camera.

"OOOOOOH My GOD!!!!! ALLIE, shit, are you okay, fuck, Allie O MY GOD O MY GOD O MY GOD." Joey screamed as he raced down the stairs to get to his sister that was competely covered in blood.

Danny and Lindsay who heard the screech from next door bolt into the house as well and rushed to the sounds of their only daughter. "ALLIE!, what's wrong Allie!" Lindsay screamed as she got to the door and saw Joey reach his sister and start to dab away at the _blood_. "ALLIE!" Lindsay said as she ran down the stairs as well. "Shit, Joey, what the fuck you were suppose to be watching her, what the hell happened!?"

"I'm sorry Ma she was taking the potatoes down and and…"

"Taking the potatoes down!!!!! JOEY SHE'S SEVEN!!!!" Lindsay screamed over Allie's wails.

Danny had come up behind Lindsay but just barley. However when he reached the top platform to the steps he heard a quiet chuckle, looking around the door he spotted Charlie with a video camera and a smirk that could only say _I win._ Danny couldn't help but laugh, and laugh loud, laugh like he hadn't in years.

At the sound Lindsay spun around to see Danny doubled holding his stomach with his good hand and sinking down to the floor. Tears in his eyes from laughing as hard as he was.

"DANIEL MESSER. What's so funny!?" Lindsay demanded as she held a rag over her daughters _bleeding head_.

"Taste your fingers Linds." Danny choked out, as he nodded to the door to his right.

"What!? What." Lindsay finally noticed the flashing red light of the cam corder. "Not funny Charlie!" Lindsay laughed.

"AND THE OSCAR GOES TO…..ALLISON MESSER!" Charlie boomed before adding, "But Mom you're laughing." Charlie smiled as he stepped out of the shadows zooming in on his brothers angry face.

"WHY YOU SON OF A…."

"JOEY!" Lindsay shouted after her son that had bound up the stairs towards his brother.

"Run Chuck, Run." Danny warned slash laughed at his middle child. Charlie simply ducked behind his father.

"What Joe, thanks for the help with the homework." Charlie said just before he sprinted into the house, up the stairs to the second story before slamming his door closed and locking it with a click heard faintly downstairs followed by the pounding of Joey's feet.

"Short stop vs running back. Aaaaah, an age old battle." Danny said his laughing subsiding now. "Allie, honey you can stop screaming now."

"Okay Daddy." She croaked out. "Can I have some water now?"

"Yea Al, and let's get this ketchup off you too, before one of the neighbors calls DCFS." Lindsay joked as she took her daughters hand and led her back up the stairs. "And you say they are not your children." Lindsay said as she nudged Danny with her hip as she passed.

"Oh they are, but that little show, that little show was all you Montana."

"What, no sling shots, were involved." Lindsay threw over her shoulder.

"Whatever, what did your brother say about you, oh yea, you acted your way out of trouble." Danny smirked.

"Danny just go, go take care of those monstars we call our sons. Save Charlie from Joe's wrath, I swear they get that from you." Lindsay said as she rolled her eyes at the half blips of profanity she was hearing coming from her sons mouths upstairs. "They are your fathers sons." Lindsay whispered to Allie as she wiped the layers of read off her face.

'Joey, go to your room, had the rolls been reversed you'd be laughing to, homework now, and don't even think about calling Kelli…Charlie, edit that video, and next time you pull a stunt like that warn your mother and I first.' Danny could be heard down the stairs.

"You are a little actress aren't you Al?"

"Uh huh, can I sign up for that!? Can I be a movie star."

"Well, why waste a good talent." Lindsay laughed. "Just remember, you're your mothers daughter." Lindsay winked as she set Allie down and gave her a scoot out of the kitchen.

Lindsay turned around wiping her hands when she noticed Danny leaning against the Kitchen door frame. "I heard that Linds." He smirked. "Ya know, I think my ma was right, we were gonna have kids just like us and worse."

"Speak for yourself Dan. I was a perfect angel."

"Yea, and that's why you shot pebbles at boys." He winked before giving her a swat on the butt. "It's our own fault our kids are like this." Danny shook his head.

"Fault? Whose at fault, these kids are gonna make a fortune and put us up once they've made it in hollywood." Lindsay joked.

"One can only hope Montana, one can only hope."

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**A/N:** So this little plot actually took place about 30 years ago in my fam, and well thought it fit the rambunctiosness that would be the Messer children (Joey is the current d/l baby, or my version of the season 5 d/l baby)…reviews are always loved. =)


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